So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
