Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize