Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
