tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
