At least make sure they are 18
Why
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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