oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
