Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
