he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
