You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
