Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
