I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
this is an emotional support booty call
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
