My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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