You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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