Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
