you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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