Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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