I smell stomach acid.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
