I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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