I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
