just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
