So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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