Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
