Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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