i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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