Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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