that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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