i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
