Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
