Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
