talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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