How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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