He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
