Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
