smell my finger.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
