I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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