i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
