are you still at the devil's house?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
