I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
