Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My dick has a subreddit
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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