And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
