I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
