Have you finally orgasmed yet?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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