So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
