wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
