either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
