Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
