just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
