maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
