just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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