i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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