He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
