I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
false alarm. still invincible.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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