Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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