Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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