Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
