i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
