A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
