at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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